I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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