why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
