You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
