just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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