I wanna bring you to show and tell
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
