He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
