well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
