Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
