so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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