Nicole vs. Life
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
