i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
