i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
