So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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