i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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