Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
