You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
