About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize