6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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