he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
