Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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