May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
