worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
