She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
