uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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