his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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