I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i out mim tonsoeep
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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