i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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