Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
