i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
