so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
