The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
