it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
4 words: hood of his car
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Randomize
