I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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