Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
