i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
