I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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