bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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