An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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