it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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