dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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