You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
