i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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