you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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