How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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