My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
