so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
