I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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