what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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