We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
