For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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