The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
