The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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