belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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