she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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