Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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