you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
