nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wish my penis had a tongue
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
