My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Houston, we have a squirter
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
