I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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