Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
