But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
