Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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