I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
