yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
