is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
All the doctor said was why
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
