she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This baby is an asshole
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
